The Problem With Charismatic Religious Leaders
We often hear about "charismatic" religious leaders. There is nothing wrong with charisma per se, but when it is cultivated by rabbis, it is sometimes for the purpose of gaining weak-minded devotees, people ripe for manipulation and exploitation. Often a charismatic religious leader will effusively praise and flatter others in order to gain their confidence. With practice, the leader perfects his style and through trial and error learns how to better control others. Eventually, as he gains followers, the charismatic leader becomes convinced that he is a great person. He will confide to his closest followers that he is a "king", or "Messiah". The charismatic leader is smart enough to not make such statements except to his devotees. This phenomenon is not confined to Jewish leaders. David Koresh, of Waco Texas, Rev. Jim Jones, of poison kool-aid fame, and others who have led their followers into tragic situations, have all made claims of kingship. What is strking is that the same phenomenon exists in certain segments of the Orthodox Jewish community. Just like the Poison Kool Aid drinkers of Jim Jones fame, the Jewish followers crave the closeness of their leader to the point where they give up their own independent judgment and rational thought. These followers, more often than not, suffer from psychological and emotional deficits. They experience themselves as incomplete, as lacking something internally. They find wholeness by becoming close with a charismatic leader who in turn praises and flatters the follower. The charismatic leader, in turn, has a deep need to be worshipped by others. These leaders and followers exist together in a sick cocoon of symbiotic emotional leeching. Each has given up some important element of logic and rational thought. The leader becomes more and more convinced that he is above the rules that apply to lesser people. He rationalizes that he has carte blanche to do whatever he wants with other people. This usually translates into sexual and monetary immorality and exploitation of his followers, who, after all, exist in this world solely to bring pleasure to the G-d like leader. The leader is usually smart enough to confine his predations to his followers while presenting to the outside world a more "normal" image.
As dangerous as the leader may be, however, he is danger mainly to his followers. They may submit to his sexual depravities, or turn over all their money to him, or commit crimes and go to jail for their leader. In extreme cases, they may kill themselves or others if commanded by the leader. But to the outside world, it is the followers who pose the great danger. Unlike the cagey leader, the followers do not see a need to exercise restraint when dealing with the outside world. In fact, they may view outsiders as enemies who need to be taught a lesson. The followers often function as mindless goons on behalf of the leader.
Since the follower has sacrificed his independent judgment in order to more completely follow his leader, he becomes a dangerous instrumentality in the hands of a desperate leader.
Which brings us to our tragic situation in New Hempstead, New York. The situation in New Hempstead is one of a leader with a small but dedicated group of fanatic followers. These people will believe anything their Rav says to them, and will not hesitate to strike out at people designated as an enemy. They will believe the most outlandish things fed to them by their Rav. For instance, they believe that their Rav's present troubles are the result of a conspiracy to bring him down. What is unanswered and even unasked is, "Why in the world would there exist such a conspiracy and who could possibly be behind it?" Over the next few days and weeks, as the drama plays out in New Hempstead, it makes sense to avoid provoking the followers. Who knows what orders they have received and what acts they would commit to protect their close relationship with a man who has told some followers that he is a "King".
As dangerous as the leader may be, however, he is danger mainly to his followers. They may submit to his sexual depravities, or turn over all their money to him, or commit crimes and go to jail for their leader. In extreme cases, they may kill themselves or others if commanded by the leader. But to the outside world, it is the followers who pose the great danger. Unlike the cagey leader, the followers do not see a need to exercise restraint when dealing with the outside world. In fact, they may view outsiders as enemies who need to be taught a lesson. The followers often function as mindless goons on behalf of the leader.
Since the follower has sacrificed his independent judgment in order to more completely follow his leader, he becomes a dangerous instrumentality in the hands of a desperate leader.
Which brings us to our tragic situation in New Hempstead, New York. The situation in New Hempstead is one of a leader with a small but dedicated group of fanatic followers. These people will believe anything their Rav says to them, and will not hesitate to strike out at people designated as an enemy. They will believe the most outlandish things fed to them by their Rav. For instance, they believe that their Rav's present troubles are the result of a conspiracy to bring him down. What is unanswered and even unasked is, "Why in the world would there exist such a conspiracy and who could possibly be behind it?" Over the next few days and weeks, as the drama plays out in New Hempstead, it makes sense to avoid provoking the followers. Who knows what orders they have received and what acts they would commit to protect their close relationship with a man who has told some followers that he is a "King".

14 Comments:
Excellent topic, and one I'd like to see further discussion and elaboration on.
All that you wrote could describe to a 't' the rabbi (not Tendler) who abused me.
You wrote:
" These followers, more often than not, suffer from psychological and emotional deficits. They experience themselves as incomplete, as lacking something internally."
I'm curious, are any of the bloggers who post on this blog survivors of rabbinical abuse as well? I ask because, I'm wondering how many other survivors of *other* rabbis had histories of childhood abuse as well, which made them more susceptible to these kind of men?
Actually, MT could have been a Melech. He had everything going for him. Yichus, Intelligence, and call it Charisma. In a paradoxical way, this is what brought him down.
Perhaps his basic mistake was to think that he was indispensable in the Divine masterplan. Nobody is.
May Moshiach soon be revealed, and may all of you who did not leave the doomed Exile of America yet, do so without delay. Come and settle the hills of Yehuda and Shomron, come and fight for Eretz Yisrael, come to be with the faithul and holy of Israel.
"May Moshiach soon be revealed, and may all of you who did not leave the doomed Exile of America yet, do so without delay. Come and settle the hills of Yehuda and Shomron, come and fight for Eretz Yisrael, come to be with the faithul and holy of Israel."
Huh? As if that's a realistic solution for everyone?
Besides, a lot of these creeps end up fleeing to Israel at some point when the heat gets too hot in the U.S, don't they?
Aliyah it is not a solution - it is a Mitzva. In our days, it is as realistic as it will ever be. So how realistic is a religious Jew who dismisses it?
I was only blessing the few readers of these comments that they will merit to become realistic and understand the times we live in. Beit Va'ad Yehiyeh L'zenut.
As for the creeps, I did not call upon Tendler to come. If he is guilty he has nothing to look for in Israel. But I think Michelle should (and probably will) pack up and come.
Excellent post. I'm not Jewish and happened on this randomly bit I will bookmark it. I agree with your reasons for it and am excited about the potential.
Thats very interesting. I have lived in New Hempstead for over 10 years. I have heard Tendler on numerous occasions compare a Rabbi or Rebbe to a Melech. In other words hes comparing himself to a Melech. Thanks, I would never have picked up on that had you not stated this. As a matter of fact, he also told a friend of ours, a women, that he was a Melech. That friend and her family have since left New Hempstead approximately 1 year ago.
For those who don't know Hebrew the word "Melech" translates as "King". Just thought I'd help out!
The title has a typo - Relgious.
I must say that while this is well written it is SO overstated!! While your post may decsribe a minority of religious leaders, the vast majority of them -yes even the charismatic ones, do not in any way view themselves as anything more than human.
I would agree with the last post. My blog was not intended to implicate religious leaders in general. I have the highest respect for sincerely religious people. I have no tolerance for power hungry manipulators of other human beings.
And to add another thought: Of course the vast majority of religious leaders do not think of themselves as anything other than human. I did not mean for my remarks to be taken as a generalization of religious leaders.
There are, kaneh horah, over 35 cousins and 6 uncles on the Tendler side alone. All are highly regarded professionals and leaders in their respesctive Kehillot from Los Angeles to Jerusalem; almost all are Rabbanim in practice as well. No one, to my knowledge, has ever contacted any of us to ask our opinion on Mordechai and the accusations and events unfolding in Monsey. Both sides of the discussion lack all credibility in this matter, and have likely avoided the obvious solution of picking up the phone and asking us for our opinions and comments after this weekend's events.
My own personal comment would be that my prayers go out to Mordechai and Michelle in these troubling times, but none of us have any better information of the events than the Presidium investigation. I believe the investigation was flawed and based on heresey, but I agree that the accusing women were hounded by nothing short of Rabbinic thuggery to keep quiet, as was the case in the NCSY scandal last year involving, in large measure, the same Rabbinic leadership. Mordechai's innocence or guilt will never be established. At a minimum, he is clearly guilty of a lack of discretion and professionalism requisite to the public trust he holds as a pulpit Rabbi. As a spiritual leader or Rav in any creadible Rabbinic program such as Yeshiva University, he can no longer function effectively. If the accusations are false, that would be heinous, but does not alter the reality of his present lack of effectiveness going forward.
The events of the past few days, involving "political consultants" and my uncle, Moishe Tendler, putting on a virtual candidate campaign complete with supporter rallies, goes far beyond the borders of poor taste and judgment. They underscore the core purpose of the Big Business Rabbinate that Moishe and Mordechai embody with every fiber of their DNA, and the significant wealth that both Mordechai and Moishe have garnered from the unquestioning admirers in a trance of Rabbinic adulation in their Kehillot by becoming Charismatic Clergy money machines interchangable with Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson. It is that Big Business aspect of the present farce, particularly thr Big Business of advising/comforting/supporting the aguna/orthodox feminist/divorce lobby in America today, that is most distasteful of all.
As divorce rates have skyrocketed in the modern orthodox community, there has been no money maker in the modern Rabbinate comparable with the wealth dangling before "spiritual leaders" willing to jump into the dirt of divorce. Mordechai's interest in the aguna issue, and his infamous "prayer for the aguna", was the Biggest of the Big Business Rabbinate today.
Rabbinics aside, Mordechai has secured significant wealth in building his kehilla via his wife Michelle's earnings as a major realtor in the developing community. Similarly, he had started a similar new community here in suburban Jerusalem -- realty development proceeds in large measure going to wife Michelle once again by unquestioning and adoring lambs seeking to annoint any Moral Authority and Melech, to use Monsey's favorite phrase. Many Rabbis have built communities "yesh me'ayin" (de novo) in jewish history, but they rarely profited significantly from the estate agent's cut on speculative increases in real estate value as the community developed.
This Big Business mutation of the Rabbinate has always been a dangerous path historically in Judaism; Mordechai is simply the latest to stumble. In the interests of the Torah True Rabbinate, to paraphrase my grandfather Rabbi Isaac Tendler of blessed memory, Mordechai and Moishe should have ended this sordid public farce long ago, before Mordechai was inevitably left twisting in the wind, irrespective of innocence or guilt. The damage to the community vastly exceeds the interests of one Rabbi, even a dear cousin. They elected, and continue to elect, to sacrifice the kehilla and possibly innocent person's reputations and lives for the sake of keeping the Monsey Tendler Charismatic Clergy money machine rolling in.
It is important to note that without exception no other rabbi in the entire Tendler clan, with the possible exception of Moishe's other son Aharon in West Hollywood, followed Moishe and Mordechai's lead in styling their professional personna and Rabbinic identities. All of my other Tendler uncles could not have distanced themselves further professionally from the Charismatic Clergy Rabbinic money machine model developed by Moishe and Mordechai. Therein lies the true answer of the family's perspective on the entire sordid affair -- family loyalty and love aside, every other Rabbi in the family rejected the Charismatic Clergy money machine model, precisely out of concern that somewhere in the future inevitably lurked the risks now bringing down both my uncle and cousin in Monsey.
In my opinion, the posts on this site are excellent. I am sorry that some were removed. However the jewish idea had a correct thing to say. That is that whatever happens in New Hempstead will happen whether or not he (or she) writes about it here. Since it is such a disgusting subject, the writer probably got disgusted writing about it and thinking about it and I don't blame him (her). Its much more nicer to think of something nice, a nice kugel, say, or if you like to learn a blatt gemora, a nice tosfos even some divrei mussar can make a nice day. but a rabbi who says he is a king and you should have sex with him who needs this dreck that makes you want to go take a shower? We never had such things in the old days. other things we had but not like this. What I don't understand is how anyone could think that all this is just made up. Why would a bunch of women just make this up, and it sounds like they all had similar stories. A woman does not make up such a story it is an embarressment to her. And surely not ten women. How does such a thing happen? A lonely woman could be susceptible to a smooth talking rabbi with a golden tongue. that has no business making halachas. They were told certain things were halacha which they were clearly farkrumpt which means to say crooked in order to get these girls to have sex. This is what we want from a rabbi? Who needs such a rabbi he should join the church they have lots of those types there. Not that they are all bad they have some nice galachim but you have to have open eyes. I can read the paper like my son who went to college he should live and be well. He gave me this computer and I am learning to use it baruch hashem there is a lot to think about. You don't have to have a college degree to know of such things. And this could ruin a girl's life. I would only take a good laywer in a case like this and frankly a frum yid must be a michugena to take a case like this for a lawyer. that is my opinion. You will not catch me davening in such a shul I can tell you that. I prefer a rabbi with his pants on at all times in a proper manner like a gentleman. he should be helping ladies not shtupping them. have a nice day
READ THIS - VERY IMPORTANT
http://jewishvoiceandopinion.com/a/Tendler1.htm
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